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A Mockery Of The Genre

by XsaladcrusherX

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1.
Shut Up You Anus 00:44
lyrics
This stopped being fun like a year ago Such a chore, making music Nothing's fresh, all the same shit XsaladcrusherX feels like a job No longer excited by The prospect of making this trash Where'd the joy go?
2.
Hygiene Is A Chore And An Inconvenience 00:41
lyrics
Fuck showering fuck shaving Fuck brushing fuck wiping Let me live in filth More time to give my life to internet and false grind
3.
Justifying Stupid And Reckless Behavior By Saying "Animals Do It; It's Natural" Is Fucking Stupid 00:25
lyrics
You operate at a higher realm of thought You're capable of understanding why what you're doing is stupid Otters rape baby seals until they die Chimps wage war over land and eat the dead You're evolutionarily superior, dawg Get your shit together and don't act so fucking dumb
4.
Shave Your Dreads, Asshole 00:42
lyrics
You look like hell Your (Razors thrown) Hair (at your head) Is (I want to shave) Dumb (Your stupid dreads) I know you And your kind Piece of shit Fuck you, guy
5.
Fuck Neckbeard Atheist Nerds 00:37
lyrics
So we went to the movies the other day Saw that new Dragon Ball Z flick Taylor brought some booze Was gonna be a blast Goddamn nerds Crawling through the woodwork Like socially inept termites Who the fuck claps and cheers While a movie's playing Fuck nerds kill em all
6.
Play This One Backwards 00:28
lyrics
Bark bark bark Woof woof woof It's right here Hidden message We hid a dick joke in this song Play this one backwards at one quarter speed
7.
This Bathroom Smells Like That Bedding Stuff For Hamster Cages 00:19
lyrics
Gonna drop a dump Open the door Unfamiliar smell It's not poop it's bedding I bet that guy brought his hamster in the bathroom to put it in his ass Fucking gross dude
8.
Fat Cop 00:32
lyrics
Heaving just from leaving your car Huff and puff as you demand my ID Whatever dude, I can afford a ticket Can you afford a heart attack? Lose weight, fat cop
9.
Fucking A Toy Horse 00:10
lyrics
Yo I watched a gif of you You were holding a My Little Pony toy That had a fleshlight crammed into it You fucked this thing It's not enough that you're fat and lonely? You have to be borderline insane too? This is why you don't have a girlfriend Because you're a disgusting creep What the fuck man
10.
You Buffer 01:03
lyrics
Loading at snail's pace Graphic spins endlessly Refresh no progress What am I paying for? Buffer Trauma I can't sit here all day I have work tonight You buffer, but why? Buffer Trauma Thanks, Obama
11.
Hey Dom 00:13
lyrics
Hey Dom, thanks for the tapes Hey Dom, thanks for the records Hey Dom, thanks for the eggs Hey Dom, thanks for the peppers
12.
Fuck Sports Fans 00:36
lyrics
If you like to watch sports, fuck you Sit on the couch with your pizza Grease dripping on your shirt Bed sores on your ass Cheese enveloping your brain Yelling at the sportsball You're crying and yelling About a game you're not even playing
13.
Defender Of The Ditch 00:44
lyrics
Stalking the highway I crawl through the brush Lurking in tall grass Inches from the shoulder I lie in wait Your truck cometh Window rolled down Wrapper in hand Like a coiled viper I strike Leaping through the window Screech like a condor Ripping you to shreds I am justice I bring the hurt Fuck litter bugs I'll kick your ass
14.
Dr. Dunlap's Customer Appreciation BBQ 01:00
lyrics
Who's Dr. Dunlap and do you trust him To thoroughly cook that meat? If he really gave a fart About his customers He'd have like tacos and spring rolls And shit fuck your BB
15.
Death Cult 00:21
lyrics
Type faster (Reassure your followers) Misquote more (They'll all buy it anyway) Cite no source (They won't think to question you) Flat out lie (All you children trust in you) Delusion and gullibility (Denial and ignorance) Are the cornerstones (Of your death cult) I won't be a part of it
16.
The Alright Wall Of China 00:13
lyrics
Fucking days of walking Vandalized by assholes I guess it's cool But it serves no function It's alright I guess
17.
What Do You Mean You Don't Like XsaladcrusherX? 00:24
lyrics
The fuck did you just say you turd lickin' dork Everybody likes my band, you're talking jive Don't ever track this shit in my house again I won't fight you or anything but I won't be your friend
18.
Crimson Waves Of Tomato Sauce 00:28
lyrics
Gino's East has fallen A once gleaming pizza beacon Providing the peasants With authentic Chicago style deep dish We honor Gino's legacy of golden crusted valleys and crimson waves of tomato sauce Goddammit now I don't have a job
19.
Boohoo Crybaby Bullshit 00:30
lyrics
Censoring speech Suppressed ideas One-sided thought Pat on the back Try to ban the guy from speaking Cause you don't like what he's saying I'll burn your petition And eat the clipboard
20.
Total Destruction Of Children 00:32
lyrics
Kids are the worst Booger Monsters Grinding kids into dust Your children won't grow up Don't procreate Eviscerate Obnoxious needy fucks I will bathe in their blood
21.
False Fun 00:15
lyrics
People like to pretend that shit like vacations and holidays gatherings are fun or something, but you and I both know Everyone's just doing it because they're like, "this is what normal, happy families do". They're full of shit. It sucks and they know it.
22.
Fuck The Things I Don't Like And Anyone Who Enjoys Them 00:28
lyrics
Your favorite bands are trash Your taste in movies sucks You like things that are stupid How could anyone be into this stuff I can only speculate but it makes sense to me That considering the things you like You also must be stupid I don't agree with your tastes I think it's fair to dismiss you entirely
23.
Marco Cholo 00:20
lyrics
Marco Cholo's El Camino A badass ride, dropped way low Bangin' whores and slammin' blow Marco Polo was Italian and went to China or something Marco Cholo is Brazilian and has never left Rio
24.
Gayle Laverne Grinds 00:36
lyrics
Live by the couch Repulsive creature never moved Lying in waste, covered in food die by the couch Cells of flesh and fibers of couch Interlace and become one Gayle Laverne Grinds was a fat piece of trash Literally merged with her couch Marinating in her own shit Couch woman fat smelly couch lady
25.
Depeche à la Mode 00:37
lyrics
Depeche à la Mode Is the name of this song Taylor expects me to write Lyrics for all of these songs Fuck that I'm not doing it anymore Clearly I can't write lyrics related to the name What the fuck would I say? Make some shitty ice cream joke? The song name is funny but It doesn't leave much room for elaboration
26.
Ecclesiastes 1:10 00:32
lyrics
All these bands sound the same You've heard one you've heard them all Nothing stands out, nothing's unique Lots of blasting, then a groove We're all the same fucking band Don't pretend you're any better This band fucking blows Your band is just as bad
27.
Shit Spitter 00:53

about

Cassette available here:
dickcrush.storenvy.com/collections/937041-dickcrush-releases/products/19622428-xsaladcrusherx-a-mockery-of-the-genre-cassette

XsaladcrusherX is the product of billions of years of cosmic and biological evolution.
The Big Bang, at the very dawn of time and existence, has ultimately led to the unbearable trash magnetically bound to the film contained within this cassette tape.
We are the end result.

DCR103

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released March 17, 2017

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DICKCRUSH RECORDS Rockford, Illinois

Dickcrush Records is a DIY label from Rockford, Illinois.
Turning grind, powerviolence, noise, and everything in between into a stupid joke since 2012.

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